It's Now Or Never
by shannyforever
Summary: How did Maura react after Casey proposes to Jane? And what was Jane's answer? Set the evening after Casey's departure back to A/N: Not sure if this will be a one shot or Let me know if I should go


Maura was startled to have heard a knock on her door so late in the evening. She expected that perhaps it may have been Jane, because let's face it, it was always Jane. However Jane never knocked; she had her own key. So when she opened the door to a troubled looking Jane, she was surprised.

"Why did you knock?" Maura asked, confused.

"I wasn't sure you'd be awake, and I didn't want to wake you," Jane replied before she stepped past Maura into the house and headed for the sofa.

Maura closed the front door and walked past Jane on her sofa as she headed to the kitchen.

"Beer?"

"Please," Jane answered.

Maura grabbed a glass of wine and a bottle of beer and headed back to the lounge area.

"You needn't have worried about waking me, I was most definitely awake," Maura stated as she sat next to Jane on the sofa.

Jane, with her head rested back against the couch, glanced across at Maura. "You thinking about Paddy?"

"Amongst other things," Maura replied, before she took a large a gulp of her wine.

Jane watched in disbelief at Maura's unusually large swig of wine. "Ok," she started as she sat up and faced Maura, "just how much wine have you had?"

"Mm, not much," Maura replied innocently. "Enough to take the edge off," she finished with an uncharacteristic shrug.

"So Casey is on his way back to Afghanistan," Jane stated, changing the subject.

Maura turned in the sofa to look at Jane who sat deflated with her eyes closed next to her. She looked troubled, and yet also relieved. Maura knew that Jane was struggling with the idea of marrying Casey. What she wasn't sure of, however, was why. She loved him; that much was evident. So why was she so hesitant?

"Did you… I mean, have you told him if you are going to marry him?" Maura asked.

"Have you ever had a crush on a woman?" Jane asked, ignoring Maura's question as she turned to look at Maura.

Maura was taken aback by the sudden change of subject, but even more so by the subject itself.

"Well, that's a rather odd response to a relatively simple question," Maura replied, confusion evident on her face, "but I'll play along."

After a few moments of silence, Jane looked at Maura pointedly, "So? Have you?"

"I have, yes," Maura replied nonchalantly before she sipped her wine.

"What… really?" Jane asked, shocked.

"It's really not that uncommon, Jane," Maura explained. "In most cases, especially when we are young, girls crush on other girls or women whom we admire, or elicit a sense of awe in us. But we don't just admire them; we want to emulate them."

"Huh," Jane replied with a sigh, as she turned to gaze off into space.

"Is something troubling you, Jane? I'm not sure how this has anything to do with Casey."

"It doesn't, really," Jane replied, still deep in thought.

Maura watched as Jane's facial muscles twitched and her eyes glazed over like she wasn't really in the room.

"Jane your orbicularis oculi and your procerus are contracting," Maura stated, questioningly.

After a brief moment, Jane turned to look at Maura like she was speaking another language. "My what?"

"You're frowning," Maura explained. "What's troubling you?"

Jane took a deep breath before she explained, "I saw an old, what you would call 'girl crush', at the airport when I dropped Casey off."

"Oh, I see," Maura replied.

"Yea, she hasn't changed a bit. Still had…vast… jugularitic… chestular dunes," Jane stated mockingly in her usual sarcastic tone.

The confusion on Maura's face made Jane elaborate by placing her hands out from her chest and miming, 'Big boobs.'

Maura narrowed her eyes at Jane with a small smile, "I'm relatively certain that you just made those words up."

Jane just laughed and took another swig of her beer.

"So, this woman's breasts are troubling you?" Maura eventually asked, with a slight smirk over her wine glass.

Jane looked at Maura, her mouth full of beer, and eventually swallowed. "Maura Isles, did you just attempt to make a joke?" she asked with a hint of humour in her voice.

"Seems you might be rubbing onto me after all," Maura replied with a smile.

Jane inhaled a small amount of beer which elicited a slight cough. "It's 'rubbing off on', Maura. Not… rubbing onto you," Jane replied as she tried to hold in her laughter.

"Oh, well, same thing."

"Yea, there's _quite_ a big difference, but okay," Jane replied before she took another swig of her beer.

After a short pause, Maura brought the conversation back to its origins. "So, what _is _troubling you, Jane?" Maura asked as she rested her head on her hand, her elbow on the back of the couch, and looked at Jane.

After a short pause and a shaky breath, Jane responded. "Have you ever been with someone who makes you feel this... warmth, like, through your whole body? And when they look at you, your chest aches and you get butterflies in your stomach. And when they touch you…" Jane inhaled shakily, "When they touch you, your whole body sighs. Then you think that maybe it's just a physical reaction, until you realise that… you can't go a day without them and not crave their presence. You can't be happy unless you get at least one smile, and one touch… And just looking into their eyes is like… is like coming home," Jane turned to look at Maura, "Have you?"

Maura let out the breath she had been holding and offered a sweet smile before replying, "If you feel so much for Casey, why are you so troubled by his proposal?"

Jane turned her gaze away and let her head rest on the back of the sofa once again. She was gazing off into the distance as her hands fidgeted in her lap.

"That's just it. I _should_ feel those things with Casey… but I don't," Jane replied with obviously sadness in her voice.

"You don't?" Maura asked, surprised.

Jane just shook her head before she adjusted herself in the couch and closed her eyes.

"You know the butterflies in your stomach are simply your adrenal glands releasing adrenaline and various chemicals into the blood stream," Maura began as she watch Jane open one eye and look at her. "The adrenaline causes your heart rate to increase as well as an increase in blood pressure and circulation to your lungs and muscles. Because so much blood is being concentrated in these areas, the stomach receives less, giving you a feeling of 'butterflies'."

"You just can't help yourself can you?" Jane replied with a smirk.

"What?" Maura replied with a giggle.

"So romantic," Jane replied sarcastically before she hid her laugh behind her bottle of beer.

After a short pause and a small amount of deliberation, Maura made a confession.

"You know, I had a girl crush on you when we first met," Maura stated. She averted her gaze from Jane and sipped her wine.

"You did?" Jane asked as she turned her head to look at Maura.

"I admired you. You were a strong female presence, and you had this sexy swagger… an air of confidence that I envied," Maura replied, now looking back at Jane.

"Had? As in, past tense?" Jane asked with raised eyebrows.

"Have," Maura replied with a smirk.

"Ok, well, if were having this conversation, I guess one might say I had a girl crush on you also when we met," Jane replied.

"On me?" Maura asked, surprised by this admission.

"Don't sound so surprised. To this day I remain envious of how intelligent and beautiful you are," Jane replied.

"You think I'm beautiful?" Maura asked with a surprised smile, her hand instinctively moving to cover her heart.

"Come on. You know you're beautiful," Jane replied nonchalantly.

"Well, yes, maybe. But I didn't know _you_ thought I was beautiful," Maura said as she rested the side of her face against the back of the sofa.

"Maura, a person would have to be blind and stupid not to see you are beautiful," Jane replied, before she stood up, "I need another beer. You want another wine?"

"I shouldn't, but yes please," Maura replied as she watched Jane head to the kitchen.

With a glass of wine and a bottle of beer in hand, Jane made her way back to the sofa with extra swagger in her stride.

"So… I have a sexy swagger, hey?" Jane asked with a mischievous grin as she handed Maura her wine and sat facing her on the sofa.

Maura looked at Jane, fighting to hold back a smile. She saw the playful glint in Jane's eyes, daring her to elaborate.

"You exude confidence, Jane. You walk as though no one in the world can ever get to you," Maura stated, before she whispered, "And you give off the impression that nothing ever does. You refuse to let people in so that no one can ever hurt you."

Jane's grin faltered as a glimmer of fear and then comfort fell over her. Comfort in the knowledge that there really was someone who knew her, inside and out, and still wanted to be around her. Comfort because she was glad that someone like Maura was willing to take the time to notice that the person she allows people to see is not the person she is inside.

"I let you in," Jane whispered in response, her eyes never leaving Maura's.

"Yes you did," Maura replied softly, her eyes searching Jane's. "And I feel so lucky for it."

"Are you going to hurt me?" Jane asked, her eyes not able to hold their gaze as they fell to her lap.

The sofa shifted under Jane and she looked up through her eyelashes to see Maura had placed her wine on the table and moved closer to her. Close enough that their legs and arms were pressed together and their faces were a breath apart. Maura lifted Jane's chin so she could look into her eyes, before responding.

"Never," Maura whispered, her eyes looking deeply into Janes'. "I will never hurt you, Jane."

"Maur," Jane sighed, as she glanced down at Maura's lips causing Maura's breath to catch in her throat.

"Yes, Jane?" Maura replied holding her breath as her eyes began to well up with tears.

Jane moved the short distance forward and tentatively placed her lips upon Maura's, causing a small, satisfied whimper to leave Maura's throat. Their lips parted briefly, both allowing the other to be sure that this was what they wanted, before Jane moved forward and captured her lips again. Maura's hand found its way to Jane's waist as the kiss deepened. Mouths opened and tongues sought entrance as moans of pleasure filled the air.

As their tongues met, Jane's beer fell from her hands into her lap before finding its way to the floor.

"Shit," Jane exclaimed as she jumped from her seat and wiped at her pants.

Maura was left in a daze on the couch, unsure of what had happened until she finally began to focus her surroundings. She looked up at Jane who was staring down at her in shock.

"I'm sorry," Jane stated, unsure of whether she had crossed a line that was never meant to be crossed.

"Don't worry about it," Maura replied, referring to the spilt beer, "It's nothing."

"Right," Jane replied, fear and sadness overtaking her face. "I should go," she finished as she searched the room for anything she needed to take with her. Coming up with nothing, she turned to leave.

"Wait, Jane. Where are you going?" Maura asked over the back of the sofa as she watch Jane walk away, unsure of what had just transpired.

"I shouldn't have done that," Jane mumbled, "I have to go. I'm sorry."

"No, Jane, wait," Maura pleaded as she stood and made her way around the sofa. "Don't go Jane," she begged, a single tear falling down her face.

As Jane reached for the door, Maura's next words made her stop in her tracks.

"I'm in love with you, Jane," Maura cried out, willing Jane to stop.

Jane's hand paused on the door handle as she replayed what she had just heard over and over in her head, just to make sure she heard right. _She's in love with me?_ Jane's head turned swiftly, looking at Maura questioningly to confirm what she had just said. With a nod from Maura, she made her way back to stand in front of her.

"You're in love with me?" Jane asked, unable to believe it to be true.

"Yes," Maura replied shakily. "So… so don't go, because… if you do, you will take my heart with you," Maura eventually responded. "Well, not my physical heart, because that is technically not possible, unless I'm dead, or…"

"Maura?" Jane interrupted with a smile as she brought her fingertips to Maura's lips.

Maura's eyes met Jane's. "Yes?"

"I love you too," Jane replied with a smile as she ran a hand through Maura's hair.

"You do? Really?"

"Hopelessly," Jane replied before moving forward and capturing Maura's lips again.


End file.
